On trimming hair…

The Trooper:

Your hair is the thickest of all, my son

It’s easy to cut which makes it real fun

Unfortunately, you don’t share in my joy

Trimming ’round your ears makes you annoyed.

In fact, though you’re easier than your brothers

You made enough fuss to beat all the others.

The Rascal:

It’s very hard for Independant Four

He makes his hair trimming into a chore.

Though he promises at first to sit very firm

In less than two minutes he begins to squirm

In short it’s a miracle that he isn’t quite bald

From mistakes made due to his wiggling fault!

The Dinosaur:

My son, I never knew you could turn that hue

As you sweat and wail for you know it’s true:

Dinosaurs need no haircut; elephants, either.

So you work yourself up into a low fever.

Until the moment the razor ceases to hum,

You growl and roar at me, my littlest son.